I have been thinking about a conversation I was having with my boyfriend a while back. He said that he wanted children in the future. I said that I didn't want children. I don't want to have that kind of responsibility and I want to do things in my life, not make babies (I want to get into activism). He didn't press further because we were first going out. Later on in the relationship, he said something that took me off guard.
"If you don't want children in five years then it’s the end of it."
Yep, I still haven't changed my mind. I still don't want children. To tell the truth I am scared as hell to be pregnant, and then have my life become totally different. I don't want my body to change and I don't want to have to take care of a child. That's my decision. My grandmother was forced, forced into marriage and then forced to have five kids, one after another, after another. The guy treated her like shit, and no I don't consider him a grandfather. The guy was a prick.
Not to say that my boyfriend is but, I feel like it has been forced down my throat.
In five years and if I still don't want children he is free to leave and find some woman who does want to give up her autonomy. It’s going to be heart-breaking but I rather be single then be stuck at home with kids.
It is your choice to make, not his... because it is your body that changes, and if shit goes down and you two end up seperated there is a greater chance that you would be stuck with them, not him.
ReplyDeleteI say that if you want to get into activism and have a life, go for it.
The age of forced matrimony and childbearing are over and this is the time for the individual to shine.
do it up man!
Peace!
Thanks for your comment. He actually said to me that if I got preggers, then I can do whatever I want. Keep it, use abortion, put it up for adoption, whateer I choose it would be okay for him. By now I hope he gets it. I recall that he onced was flabbergasted that I was feminist and proceeded to tell me that his family hates feminism (why do I care?). Anyway, like a year after he was like: "Oh, you are a feminist." Good men aren't born, they are made. I might change my mind and want to start a family, but then again, I might not.
ReplyDelete