I meet with my parents the other day, only it was the same old, same old. They ask me about other people and not myself. They love me coming over for a visit but I am completely bored after twenty minutes of silence. After I tell them I have a blog, my Mom goes, "Oh, that's good, so what's Ryan doing?"
It's always about other people not myself. I feel completely cut off from them and every way. They rarely ask me what I am doing and when I do they become suddenly distracted. My Mom isn't the kind of Mother who sits you down and asks you what's wrong. When there is something wrong all she says is- "I don't know what to tell you Heather." And she leaves it at that.
My Father always says that I never talk to him but he rarely talks back to me. He never responds to me when I start opening up to him. I feel weird talking to myself so suddenly I clam up.
Whenever I mention good news happening for me all they say "Well, that's good."
Living with my boyfriend has taught me that my voice matters and communicating is important. I am so used to talking about anything. So suddenly talking about nothing is torture to me (I hate small talk). I feel like I need to open up, but whenever I do I feel stupid. And when I don't talk to my parents I feel like I am being mean. I realized why I was so angry at my parents and it's because they never talk to me; they never have fun with me. Do they want to? Or are they just like that?
Every time the "adults" come over everybody ignores me until someone asks the dreaded, stupid obvious questions like "Hows Ryan?" "Did you find a job. yet?" etc. After the twenty dumb questions everybody turns and starts talking amongst themselves. I feel completely ignored and unwelcome over my old home. So I am pondering whether I want to stop talking to them or mention that they make it hard for me to talk to them.
I can tell you right now, if I have children I wouldn't treat my kids like that.
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