My particular connection to the God is just been fading into nothingness. This connection is synchronized with my relationship with all men since the God does represent the males in the world. Ever since I was young I have always been afraid of men.
I realize now that I need to change my perception on Him. I feel uncomfortable with Him. I think I have adopted that narrow view on the God from the Christian religion. Perhaps I should turn to a more Pagan view (since I am Pagan!) on Him. Maybe if I gain a new relationship with the Dancing God of the Witches, I can slowly find feel more comfortable with boys and men. Well, Pagan anyway. I really don't find connection with the Horned, Hoofed, and Horny God. Just something about Him turns me off (could be the giant, erected penis but who knows). I think I will use the archetypes the Green Man, the Peacock God, the Child of Promise, etc within my practice. That's the beauty of Neo-Paganism; you could picture deity as something that fit your particular lifestyle.
Spell from Phyllus Currotte in her book WitchCrafting:
Great God who dwells within and all around me,
God of the shindig sun and the fertile forest,
God of the stars above and the seed of new life within,
God from whom inspiration comes
Empower me!
May I create a new bond with each I never really had -Mine
Today I am looking forward to discover a new relationship with myself, with men and with the God.
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